She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
