Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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