Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
