I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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