Nicole vs. Life
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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