Don't you send me to vm
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Randomize