the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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