Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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