haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
