belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
After last night, I could never be a politician.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize