All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
