This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
