why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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