if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
