your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
