Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize