White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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