Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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