He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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