He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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