I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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