And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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