My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
