we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
