Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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