she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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