Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
