girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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