i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
