i just had sex bonerless
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
