she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
