hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
