Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
