found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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