That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize