OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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