there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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