she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
