he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
