I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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