ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Congratulations! We have a period
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
