Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
