i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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