As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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