I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
