I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
