You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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