i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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