new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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