If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we're making bets on your personal life
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize