that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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