Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
