my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize