no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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