We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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