Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
