I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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