we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
