Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
