I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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