One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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